Have you heard of Strength-Based Parenting?

I'm so excited to share this with you!  I heard an interview with Lea Waters, PhD  who wrote The Strength Switch: How The New Science of Strength-Based Parenting Can Help Your Child and Your Teen to Flourish.  You can listen to the interview here and check out her book on amazon here.

This interview with Waters, really struck me and I knew I needed to read her book.  Not only was I touched by her personal story of her childhood and her sister but I was intrigued, what would it be like if I could focus more on what my girls are doing right, what they are interested in, what comes more naturally to them instead of focusing on all the things that they need to improve, do better at and work on.  Was that even possible and how would that affect their self esteem, their confidence and our relationship?

So I purchased her book and dove right in.  I love her philosophy on Strength-Based Parenting. She breaks it down in a way that is approachable and relatable along with all the supporting case studies, data and practical ways to practice it.  

There is something about this newer field of Positive Psychology that enables me to breathe easier, it feels softer and more enjoyable… it makes life feel more promising and light...  It’s in alignment with my soul.

The Strength Switch is filled with relatable examples of how focusing and honoring your child’s strengths will have an overall positive effect on them and your relationship with them.  You’ll also find plenty of helpful practices guiding you to be more strength-based when navigating everyday life with growing children.

As Waters spells out, this isn’t about becoming a perfect parent (which isn’t approachable or realistic).  The practices in this book are to enable you to become more mindful of how you are parenting and will put you back in the driver's seat of parenting in a way that feels right to you and for the benefit of your children.

This is definitely a practice and I’m practicing it all the time.  

When I find myself caught in focusing on the weaknesses and getting upset, it’s usually because of some fictitious story I am telling myself about their future.  Such as, if I can’t get her to clean up her room now she’ll be one of those people who’s living with 60 cats and a mess everywhere.

This is a great example of what Gabby Bernstein calls ‘Future Tripping’.  Meaning, I’m not focusing on what’s happening right now, instead I’m letting my fears of the future take over and I’m responding to the present moment as if those future fears are true.  

As I’m sure you’re already realizing, this isn’t doing anyone any favors… and so it’s a practice. Back to the present. How can I support them, see them right now and honor who they are in this minute?  When I can truly see them in the present I see two beautifully loving, smart, caring, thoughtful and courageous girls.  Each with their own unique strengths.

I’m trying to find that subtle line between honoring, celebrating and encouraging their strengths yet still supporting them in using their strengths to navigate their weaknesses in a way that’ll carry them through life.

Leave a comment below! I'd love to hear about your favorite parenting styles and/or books.  And where do you find yourself getting stuck in adapting new ways of parenting?

 Love and gratitude,

Emotional Freedom Technique, EFT (or often referred to as tapping) is an evidence based technique used to release physical pain, negative emotions, limiting beliefs, food cravings, fears, phobias, childhood traumas, anxiety, stress, and the list goes on!  

This gentle technique involves self-applied tapping on meridian end points (like acupressure) in combination with a specific type of modern talk therapy.  By doing this simple yet powerful technique it allows you to heal your body naturally, bust through limiting beliefs about yourself, and no longer be defined by your past experiences.  You can start to live your life with the freedom to be your true authentic self!   

Here are 5 big reasons you should be using EFT Tapping...

1-REDUCES STRESS.  In just one 60 minute session of EFT Tapping your cortisol (which is the hormone your body produces when it's stressed) will be reduced by 24-50%.  This is extremely important considering that 60-90% of doctors visits are stress related. (Research by Perkins, 1994 cited in the Harvard Business Review)

2-RELEASES NEGATIVE EMOTIONS.   Harboring negative emotions keeps us stuck in the past.  Some of these negative emotions are sadness, anger, frustration, resentment, hurt, shame... what negative emotion do you want to get rid of?

3-RELIEVES PHYSICAL PAIN. Often the physical pain we are experiencing is keeping us from being able to enjoy our lives and   more often than not it's due to our emotional state.  Use EFT Tapping to release your negative emotions and you're body will thank you.

4-HEAL PAST TRAUMA.  When we're carrying around past trauma our life can be filled with anxiety, pain, fear and depression. EFT has been shown to be extremely effective in healing trauma by turning off the amygdala, which is the part of the brain that controls the fight or flight response. When tapping through past trauma, including those resulting in PTSD, you'll signal to the body that its okay to relax now, the trauma is over.  

5-ENJOY EMOTIONAL FREEDOM.  When you tap, you can finally find the emotional freedom you’ve been looking for… so you can live your life with freedom to show up and respond as your authentic self.

Ready to try it out?   

Below is a link for a  free video where I'll teach you how to use EFT Tapping to REDUCE your stress!  

Click here to watch a quick video taking you through the EFT Tapping points along with deep breathing which will allow your body to begin to relax and shed stress right now!  What are you waiting for?  

Love and gratitude,

Which body would you rather live in?  One that is being punished, deprived and hated?  Or one that is honored, respected and loved?

I have spent much of my life feeling as though my body isn’t good enough.  Always wishing it was stronger, leaner, thinner, and taller.  I had a very sad relationship with my body, I was always disappointed in it and felt like I had to control it somehow. 

When I was ready for my body to do me the ultimate favor and carry a baby, it couldn’t even seem to do that for me.  This only made my relationship with my body even worse.  After years of heartache and lots of crazy treatments, my body finally came through and I had my first miracle baby.  I think I appreciated my body a little more because of it, but honestly I’m not really sure it changed the hateful relationship I was so accustomed to.  

Then breast cancer happened.  My body once again was letting me down.  I felt so betrayed, heartbroken, disconnected, and completely scared.  This was over 6 years ago, and I think it was my rock bottom.  I began searching for a better way.

I went to a Hay House event about a year after my bilateral mastectomy, and I was listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer give a talk.  He was so magnetic, and I was soaking up all his words… and then he said it… ‘Are you living your life based on fear or love?’  

This simple yet profound question just about knocked me off my seat.  I began to tear up.  I wrote down ‘Fear or Love’.  I realized that EVERYTHING I had done to ‘take care of myself’ was based on FEAR!  

I was exercising because I was afraid.  Afraid if I didn’t I would be fat, my cancer would come back, I wouldn’t be able to keep up with my life, I wouldn’t be good enough, I would be too stressed… and the list goes on and on.  Never once did it occur to me to exercise because I wanted to give my body some love and take care of myself better... out of love… nope, not once. I was drinking green juice, eating a vegan based diet, nothing processed, only because I was so scared the cancer would come back if I didn’t.  Never did it occur to me to feed my body nutritious food that nourished my body because I loved my body and I wanted to take care of it out of love and respect.  

Then I realized this went well beyond how I took care of my body, but my motive for almost all things in my life were based on fear.  This shocked me to my core. The toxicity level was huge. 

I needed to make the shift to love.

And sure enough, that's when I was introduced to EFT, Tapping.  

It's through EFT that I was able to heal my old patterns of hate, disappointment, disgust, resentment, fear, etc towards my body and step into choosing love.  

I now choose love.  

Am I perfect at it?  Absolutely not.  It’s a practice.  

There's no such thing as being perfect at anything. 

If I find myself wishing my thighs are smaller, or my arms are more muscular.  I stop… and decide to thank my body instead… after all, my body has been through a lot, and it never gave up on me. Even through all the abuse that I have put it through, it never gave up on me... for that, I'm eternally grateful.  

I know this life goes by too fast.  I don’t know if I'll be here tomorrow.  

So I have decided to thank my body for showing up and doing it’s thing.

I now choose to eat a healthy diet and exercise because I want to support my body and help it do it’s thing.  I choose to do it for love.  Love for my body and love for my life.

Switching from fear to love has been one of the most radical things I have ever done.

Are you ready to be radical?