Have you ever committed to doing something but then when the time comes you kinda wish you could get out of it?

That’s what happened to me recently.  I’d signed myself up to participate in a parent run program for my daughters school so that I could volunteer in her classroom.  She’s in 4th grade this year and I know my time is running out to be helping in the classroom.

Yet, I was dreading it.  Turns out this was not how I thought I wanted to spend my evening… and to be honest it probably had to with the fact that I am participating in a program that I have never done before, since she is at a new school this year I don’t know many people yet and I was feeling a little, ok maybe a lot, insecure.  I really wanted to stay home. 

I spent a couple of days feeling the dread, overwhelm, and insecurity of it all.  I did tap about it a bit, but mostly tried to push it aside.  I hated that I was feeling this way.

The night came, I forced myself to go, dreading it the whole way… but much to my surprise, I loved it!  As soon as I walked in I met another mom who has just moved here from the same place in the SF area we used to live.  Then when it came time to learn about what we will be doing in the classroom it was so educational and fun, the time flew by. 

As I was driving home I realized that I went into this closed off and filled with dread… what a disservice to myself.  I wasted time and energy dreading it, wasn’t fully present in the time leading up to it because I was immersed in the feeling of not wanting to go.

If only I had gone into this with a mindset of curiosity. 

Curiosity about it all, openness and wonder.  Can you imagine how much better I would’ve felt in the time leading up to it?

Living life from the viewpoint of curiosity keeps us interested, engaged and it is really hard to feel negatively when you are curious.  Not only is life more enjoyable but it’s so much easier to be fully present.  When I do live my life from the viewpoint of curiosity and openness there’s so much more positivity in my life.   I’m more willing to participate in new situations and I’ll likely learn something new about myself and the world around me. 

I clearly needed this reminder, and I’m so glad I was able to receive it.  Sometimes we get off track and don’t even realize it.  And that’s okay!  Be kind to yourself when you realize you are off track and gently put yourself back to where you would like to be.   It’s through these times that we make the most progress in shifting our lives to how we’d like them to be. 

Have you ever felt this way?  Do you notice a difference when you approach life with curiosity and openness?